Post # 7

Photos

Comments

[Danica-Ella Pantoja]

I enjoyed your imagesin your photo essay. However, I wasn't sure what it was about. I could not find the thesis and neither the introductory. You might want to accentuate it by bolding the font (if it is even in there). If it isn't, you would want to include an introductory and a thesis to inform the reader what your essay will be discussing. After reading your last photo, I am assuming that your essay was mainly about how the Civil War began(??). Develop a thesis what you believe and how you believe the point occurred. That way, your essay will become ten time better. Your photos...do they relate to one another? Once again, because I am not sure what you are writing about, it seems as if you just chose any photo that dealed with the Civil War and inserted it into your essay. Your thesis will help you organize your photos and will definitely help you link everything together. I suggest you contribute more thought to you essay so you can develop a well-organized and structured discussion.

[Whitney Howell]

Morgan,

Your topic was a good choice and very important battle in the Civil War, but there is room for you to improve. First, you need an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention and makes them want to enter your photo gallery. Tell me why you chose your topic and what you are going to do in your essay, what are you going to prove or support. Second, your choice of photos and maps are very interesting, but you might want to include more photos of the battle or aftermath of the battle. Third, why don’t you use less maps. I would have liked to see more people or places. Your maps are interesting, but they take up half of the essay. Overall, your texts was very interesting and provide a lot of detail.

Whitney