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Danica-Ella Pantoja

I especially enjoyed your second paragraph. It was very informative, you stated what you were going to talk about, you explained it well, and made connections between your own thoughts and the image. You should do that through your ENTIRE essay. You started off well and strong. By the third paragraph and moreover, you simply just stated your thoughts. I'm not even sure whether they connected to your thesis. What you could have done was further explain why you think the women seemed to not be doing anything. How does this connect to the overall theme about the attitude of the British? It is the same with the fourth paragraph. You had stated that the women were not doing their "womenly" duties. Then you stated that the British were obviously mocking the women's new determination. What do you mean by new determination? You had not mentioned that. It also seems like a totally new idea because you did not link it to the women's "womenly" duties. This is why you should further explain your ideas. Actually analyze them. For example, start with this in your body paragraphs: 1) A ___ attitude is expressed... 2)It is through [description of the image that elicits this attitude] and 3) Describe exactly HOW steps 1 and 2 relate. Contribute more time into your essays. You started out well!

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